Have you ever been told things like, “Hey, chill out dude/lady, I was just kidding, don’t take it so seriously!”
Most of us probably have encountered similar situations where we overreacted and made things so big of a deal than it was intended.
While it’s simple to say that we should relax and just have a fun conversation with someone, it is not always easy to learn how to cool that anger down when your emotional button is accidentally triggered.
Let’s have a look at what you can do when it happens so you know how to diffuse the situation before it gets out of control.
Count to ten
This is very easy for anyone to do, whether you are a 9-year-old kid or a 73 years old adult. It provides you with enough time to think about whether your next impulsive move is appropriate and smart.
Consider the Consequences
Take a few moments to think about what the results or outcomes of your actions will be.
If you strike out at a fellow worker, you may end up losing your job – is it worth it?
If you argue with that intoxicated guy in the bar even though he’s wrong, are you still creating a fun, playful, relaxing night with your friends?
If you become reactive to your woman’s swirling emotions, are you still an attractive, reliable, grounded man?
This works really well because breathing down to your belly helps to reduce the tension built up in your body. You may even want to use this technique as your first course of action.
Take a few seconds and picture yourself in a different place, somewhere calm and soothing.
This might be standing at the edge of the ocean, walking in a park or sunbathing on a beach in Hawaii. You may even want to imagine that you are listening to some soothing music.
Relaxation techniques are extremely helpful when it comes to managing your anger.
You can use self-massage on areas like your neck and shoulders to help reduce those feelings of anger.
Do things like rolling your neck and performing shoulder shrugs. You will feel the tension leaving your body, helping you to calm down.
Next there are some simple questions that you can ask yourself:
How important is this situation to me?
Do I really need to make things 100% right, 100% correct, 100% certain?
Is it worth continuing on this path and risking ruining my entire day for this minutia?
What is my best, most sensible, most empowering course of action?
Am I about to not take it so seriously, have a laugh and respond in a nonchalant way?
You will now have two choices of action.
To make a point and let people know that you are angry and why.
OR you can decide that it is time to diffuse the situation by walking away, ignoring the drama entirely or just ending the conversation.
If you decide to stay and fight, then do so in a way that is healthy and productive.
Don’t allow yourself to get out of control.
Explain why you are angry, what caused this and how the situation can be resolved.
If you do this, then both you and the other person will have dealt with a potentially explosive situation in an adult, wise, elegant manner.
“Anger doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.”
• Lawrence Douglas Wilder
I once knew of a man who gave up his whole life in a flicker of rage. He murdered somebody. In a fit of fury, he destroyed a life. He devastated several lives. He certainly demolished his own life. Prison time, however, was a time for recollection and recovery. He refused to be characterised by what was, quite definitively, his worst moment. He was able to do that in an encounter with the Spirit of the living Christ. He was a changed man, though all his days would ever be tainted by that one moment of madness. Yet such was the grace that this man had received, he knew he was no longer judged. He no longer judged himself, and he had learned to turn his regret outward into purposeful restitution.
He learned something else about anger.
Anger wasn’t all there was. Much deeper down something important resided, as if there was an alluvial quality to his emotions that he had not yet tapped. He discovered something in the peace of God. In the tranquil waters of his own soul he was introduced to a pool of sadness ever present in his material identity. There he found such empathy for himself, led there by the Lord’s Presence, that he forgave himself those horrific behaviours. He saw the fear generated sadness for what it was. It made sense, and acceptance was enabled.
Anger was merely the masquerade for a deep-seated irreconcilable sorrow that ran irrepressibly within and incessantly throbbed as an undercurrent in his life.
The moment he agreed to take a pilgrimage to his sorrow was the moment he was healed of the need of anger.
Do you find that often you allow your anger get the better of you?
Do you notice that your boiling point is easily reached more now than ever before?
Do you feel that life is always unfair and you seem to always be wronged by others for no reason?
If so, it is time to take some preventive measures to get your anger under control. You don’t want to let it have the upper hand again when they inevitably arise again.
Use the following tips to help reduce your anger and improve the quality of your life.
#1 Always Think Before You Speak
This tip is one that you have probably given to your own children. So why aren’t you practicing and living it yourself?
Take a few moments to think about what you are going to say, and think about the impact it may have.
If it is something that you know you will regret later, shut your mouth, count to 10, and then choose an intelligent, strategic, smart way of responding in a different way.
#2 Regular Exercise Is Vital To Your Anger Management
Very often you feel angry because you have so much tension accumulated in your body and you are stressed out. So you must make exercising a habit and part of your life.
This may be just parking at the back of the parking lot at work and walking to the building.
This may be going for a walk after lunch time and get some fresh air in.
This may be doing 3 sets of 10 push-ups and 10 sit-ups in the morning.
Running, lifting weights or doing energetic sports such as CrossFit, basketball, martial arts training can be helpful at helping you rid those angry feelings.
#3 Ask Yourself Why You Are Angry In The First Place
Identify the causes of your anger. What is it that makes you feel this way?
Is it because of the messy, noisy, dirty house that you can’t keep up with?
Or are you taking on sims freeplay hack 2017 too many responsibilities at work?
Or are you not feeling appreciated, respected and loved by your spouse, kids or friends?
Identify the root of your anger and then figure out a way to improve this situation.
#4 Meditation And Relaxation Skills
Both of these can help you reduce your stress, tension and anger.
Meditating allows you to calm your mind down and focus on your breathing. By learning relaxation skills, you will find that you are more empowered to strategically maneuver over tricky situations.
#5 Express Your Anger Intelligently
Feel free to express your frustrations in a positive way.
Don’t just jump to hasty conclusions and let your frustrations loose on the closest person. Think about why you are angry and then express it in an adult, smart and positive manner.
If someone is making you feel this way, tell them the truth with good honest communicative languages without hurting their feelings or making them mad in return.